Friend`ology

So you have friends, enemies, strangers and then you have those people who don't really fall into either of the above mentioned classifications. Lately my social graph (working 6hrs a day studying the world of social networking, I've picked up some of the jargon) has been dominated by the latter. Where exactly do your ex-s' fall in the grand scheme of things? and what about those occasional flings and old crushes that have descended into that gray region of uncertainty?

If I really wanted to be optimistic a glance at my facebook account states that my "friends" number in the hundreds. Surely I don't consider all of these people to be my friends (then why have I given them free reign to rummage through my personal photos and conversations!). If facebook were to be considered the ultimate authority on social relationships then my good friend, lets call her "bambi", has enough to be elected in Colombo using just her "friend-vote". So if all my "friends" on facebook aren't really my friends then should they be classified as such. That-Guy-Whose-Name-I-Can't-Recall and She-Who-I-Don't-Know-Where-We-Met come to mind as excellent lists to group these people under. Then again doing so would be at the risk of being on the receiving end of some serious payback. At least the status quo would be broken with the ability to classify majority of the folk under enemies with good authority.

Alas, none of the alternatives are practical under current social etiquette. So for the foreseeable future I would have to continue to tolerate a few people with whom I no longer share any social nor emotional connection as "friends" and shrug them away as figurative party crashers of the most stupendously boring party in the universe that is my life.